In Love With the Thought Of Being...

It's hard to fall in love when you're young.  It's even harder to fall in love when you're in your 30s and 40s.  The reality is it's really hard to fall in love.

In your teens and 20s, falling in love becomes part of your daily living.  If you're not in love with this girl or that... you're in love with something or some activity.  There's always something to be in love with.  And what's fascinating about this feeling is the intensity of the passion one puts into it like there's no more tomorrow.  Or that the world would end if things don't go one's way.

Now, when you're in your 30s or 40s and you still feel that way, you've got a lot of catching up to do.

Here's my thing.  After being in and out of relationships for the past 3 decades of my life, I've come to the conclusion that often times, I was just in love with the thought of being "in love".  And that's not cool.  In other words, I was just looking for that "high" feeling that one gets when those brain chemicals start kicking in.  And yes, it can get very addicting.

But I realized this as I matured and really made a conscious effort to break the cycle.  Have I been successful?  I'm not perfect but I'm definitely learning.  And I've been better than I have been in the past.  I've learned to both heart and mind in a relationship.  In other words, infatuation doesn't exist in my being anymore.  It has no place in the world of "grown ups".

I'm pretty sure you guys have figured this out a long time ago.  And yeah... I'm simply catching up!  This said...  here are a 7 tips to keep your head straight and not go crazy irrational on other stuff BECAUSE your other half is causing drama.

1.  Give yourself a timeline to see if the relationship you're in is healthy for your well-being.

2.  If your partner finds motivation in causing drama to spice up your relationship, sit her down and let her know it's not cool

3.  If you're not able to express yourself to let her know "it's not cool" to cause drama, you know you're in deep shit and have no "say" in the relationship you're in.

4.  Don't be in the relationship you're in just because other people are inspired by your story.  Listen, at the end of the day, you're the one who'll have to deal with all the crap that's in it.  You better be in it because you know it's healthy for both of you.

5.  If both of you end up screaming at each other or walking out from each other after tryin to open up to one another, you're in an unhealthy relationship.  BAIL.

6.  Infatuation will die down.  And when it does, your relationship will look ugly.  Even the girl you're with will look ugly.  Life will look ugly.  You will see yourself as ugly... oh boy... that's ugly!

7.  You choose and decide what's best for you.  You can't give if you don't have.  And if you're not doing what's best for you, you can't do what's best for other people, especially the one you think you love.