Saturday, January 25, 2014

7 Things to Consider Before Considering a Divorce

Maybe you're going through a crisis in your marriage right now.  Maybe you think bailing out of the marriage is the only solution to your marital woes.  And maybe, divorce is really the best option for you right now.  I get it!  But before you jump the gun on getting a divorce, I would like you to consider these 7 things...

1. Is Your Marriage Repairable - I have friends who have a habit of buying a new fan or microwave oven when their current one gets damaged or when it isn't working properly.  I really think its a waste of money for them to just hastily replace the damaged one with a new one.  How could they not consider having any of these appliances repaired? Is it because it has become a habit?

Can you imagine if you treated your marriage the same way?  That would be bad!  With this, I would really encourage all of you to ask yourselves if your marriage is repairable.

 2. Take a Step Back and Think Hard - Again, why are you rushing through things?  Take a step back and think things through.  If, at the end of your reflective moment you still feel like going through a divorce is the only option, then go ahead.  The point is simply for you to be able to tell yourself that you were never hasty about it.

3. Can You Afford to Live On One Income - If you and your spouse have a two income lifestyle, I want you to consider that things are going to change when you file for divorce.  Be aware that you may never be able to afford paying monthly payments to your luxury car or the monthly dues to your country club membership.  This doesn't mean you should stay married for financial reasons.  Just be aware that going through a divorce will impact your finances... big time.

4. Be Aware That You Will Experience a Life Change - If you were a housewife, you'll probably have to go to school or get a job on the side.  Or maybe you have a degree but because of your current situation, you may now have to get a higher degree to get a better paying job.

5. Seek Professional Help - By going to a marriage counselor.  C'mon!  What have you got to lose?  If you're still determined to file for a divorce, do it after you've exhausted all of your options.  No one's gonna stop you anyway.  But at least you can tell yourself you've tried everything in the book.

6. How Will the Children Take the Divorce - Children are better at coping with life changes more than what we think they're capable of.  Of course, you don't want your children to be exposed to domestic violence and all that crap but, again, if the marriage is repairable and all options haven't been exhausted, for the children's sake... take your time and make sure divorce is the only solution.

7. Shop Wisely for Good Representation - There are plenty of family law attorneys but most of them are just in it for the money.  Some could actually care less about your situation and what you're trying to accomplish.  To others, you're just a number.  That's bad!  Can you imagine paying $300/hour only to find out that your lawyer wasn't really paying close attention to your case..

Getting a divorce is a very tough decision.  And it's also a big one.   So before you jump right into it. Please make sure that you can honestly tell yourself you've done all you can to fix your marriage but it still wasn't effective and that divorce is the only solution.

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